why worry about all my problems ? if i can just “cast all my cares/worries upon Him who cares for me” :)))

the art of letting go …

how are you? 

WHO’S THIS PRETTY GIRL ? 

During my childhood years, my playmates, friends, classmates, and other children around me used to tease me, but that was natural for young people. I get insulted. Yes. Which every child would absolutely feel if they are being jeered. All throughout these years, I never get insulted that much. Not until that day comes. I had finally known how it sucks. Being replaced is more sh*t than a break up but you know what’s the most sh*t? That is to be replaced by somebody who is … oh well never mind. 

For 6 months, I was involved in a relationship that I thought would last happily but unfortunately (or should I say FORTUNATELY) I thought wrong. For all those months, I have nothing else to do but to forgive him. I’m not telling that I was cheated the whole time; Somehow, I feel loved. There are a lot of sweet moments we’ve shared together. Moments that is slowly killing me whenever they tried to invade my tousled mind. On our first few months, I caught him flirting with some other girl here on Facebook . He did it privately through exchanging messages with that girl. What did I do? I befriended that girl and tried to get all the information. I let my man explain without his knowing that I already knew the truth. Men are such good authors and actors (clap.clap.clap). Anyway after all, he was still forgiven. We tried to start anew and forget what happened (I mean “he” forget. I used to mention it every time which always causes him to get annoyed, like what every guilty man do). We have faced more quarrels and misunderstandings along which were necessary in every relationship. There were times where I made mistakes and it takes few days before he forgives me but when it comes to him, it only takes few hours to have my forgiveness. I never had the right to get mad, because if I do, he’ll get mad even more. With his that kind of strange behavior, I learned to let go of the pride I have grown up with. I don’t get mad easily now, thanks to him. There were days where we never fought and that made me thought that everything would be fine. We celebrated our 6th month last January. That was supposed to be the happiest and sweetest hours of my day. From the time we met on that dusk, we both don’t care about the freaks around us. Those laughters, those silly jokes, embraces and sweet kisses made that night wonderful. He then sends me home, we say our “iloveyou’s” and “mahal na mahal kita” as we kissed and in just a snap, a mere misunderstanding had ruined everything. He walked out. I tried to follow him but he asked me to go back home. He went home without us reconciling. From that night, we never had a chance to talk, no more text messages, no more calls. I started to accept everything, accept that, that night might be the demise of our relationship. A month have passed, I’ve tried to live a normal life (I tried it hard). During those times that he’s not beside me, I met new friends and one of those friends was his best friend. He’s nice, God-fearing, kind, clever, caring, thoughtful and gentleman. We went out together with my classmates. We became so close and it made my classmate think that there’s something going on between us (which is really absurd) we are just friends (showbiz). We decided to have a “call sign” (who says callsign was just for lovers? Anyway we don’t call each other like ‘hon,babe,baby,asawa ko,mine or what) . One time, I posted on his timeline calling him the way we call each other, he did the same thing on my timeline and what I expected to happen had happened. My man had read it and he updated his status pertaining to the call sign of his best friend and I. He unfriended me and then add me again. He liked my cover photos one by one since it’s the only album that’s visible to public. I was surprised with his act. I was like “huh? Anong problema niya? Hahaha . Affected?” For the first time since that lonely night of 25, I sent him a text message. We argued. We argued much. He said that his best friend and I were flirting, that we disrespected him. 


“buti pa yung ninja saga ko kahit di ko nabibisita ganun pa rin yung character, yung iba diyan, naturingang tao nag-iba na ng pangalan?hahaha.” 


“bash?parang sa dota lang.hahaha”


“nawala lang ako pero di ko tinapos. hindi ako nakipaglandian dahil marunong akong rumespeto e kayo?. gf kita, bestfriend ko siya, tinuring ko pang pinsan ko. Tapos ano? DI NIYO NA KO NIRESPETO”


Di niyo na ko nirespeto ………


With what I knew, I’d like to ask him “respect? What the hell do you know about RESPECT?”

But before I found out what I have “found out”, we became okay. He’s still as sweet as he was before. He’s one hell of a sugar-coated man. Last February 29, we met. While we are kissing, he stopped and said “putek namiss kita” he bowed “tae di ko dapat sinasabi to’ nakakainis !!” as he said those words… hindi ako kinilig, I don’t know, I felt like it was scripted. I even wanted to award him a trophy for that silly acting. Anyway I didn’t mind it that much. We hugged; we tickled each other and wrestled like we were kids. All those hours were invaded with HAPPINESS. He sends me home kiss me on my lips and forehead and tell me he loves me (just like the usual stuff we do).

The next day, I opened my account. I saw comments on his profile picture saying “papa, mas bagay kayo ni mama”. I posted my own comment I said “wow what a happy family”. I wondered that’s why I decided to send a private message to the girl calling my man papa, and the girl that she calls “mama”. 

I to the girl: why are you calling him that way?

I to her so-called “mama”: what’s between you and *my man’s name*

(I didn’t get answers from them right away. My man texted me)

Him: andami mong nasabi sa fb ah

I: sino ba kasi yung mga yon ? sang planta galing mga yon?

Him: sa earth. Nakakatawa ka. Lahat nalang threat sayo. Pati ba naman mga kaibigan 
ko?

I; why not just explain? I’ll believe you anyway.

Him: Kapitbahay ko yung mga yun dati sa cavite, yung zalmarie, 2nd cous ko. Sa susunod magtanong ka muna ha?

(I feel relieved…. somehow…)

March 06, 2012, his best friend texted me. He said he’ll go to school to see me and have some talk. While waiting for him, I rented on an internet café. The woman replied to my message. 

Her: bf ko lang naman si *my man’s name*. baket?

I: ah. Akala ko kasi ako yung gf niya ;))

I looked on her profile, her pictures were in private. I logged out and waited for my man’s best friend but he didn’t come. When I’m finally home, I opened my account again and sent another message to the woman.

I: please leave him.

While waiting for her reply, I visited her timeline and I was stunned for almost a minute. I was terribly surprised for what I saw. The girl uploaded new photos. And I was like “DAMN! ! ! …. WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH MY MAN ? PUMATOL SIYA SA GANYAN??? DAMN!!!!”

The girl replied to my message ….

Her: pano kung ayaw ko?!

After what I saw, I wholeheartedly replied, “EDI WAG! MAGSAMA KAYO NG MASAYA AT MAPAYAPA! HAHAHAHA”

Ewan . wala na kong laban . kapag ganun ang itsura, di na ko papalag. But honestly, I get really really insulted! Her looks have insulted the hell out of me. I’m not being cynic here, but if you were in my situation, what will you feel? This is not to put anyone on a shame. I just really don’t know how I could handle this feeling. They belong to same text clan, HOW MY MAN COULD BE THAT CHEAP? Ganun na siya kadesperado ? sumasali ng text clan? He’s like no any other immature high school students (pasintabi sa mga kasali ng clan). The girl dwells in Bohol and my man lives here in Caloocan. How sad, they are in a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

I remembered what my man have said, “hindi ako nakipaglandian dahil marunong akong rumespeto e kayo?. gf kita, bestfriend ko siya, tinuring ko pang pinsan ko. Tapos ano? DI NIYO NA KO NIRESPETO” again, what does he know about respect? How ridiculous. Anyway … good thing I am not a home wrecker. They could endure the happy family they’ve commenced. I wish them all the best and lucks. Who’s this girl in the photo? She is ZALMARIE ..her loving girlfriend .. ;))


P.S
(the girl who calls him papa texted me last night, she said “isusumpa naming ni mama si papa. Again. GOODLUCK ;D)

Someone asked me.. “asan na yung bf mo?” I replied…. “kinuha na ng engkanto.hahahha” mali ba yung sinabi ko? xD


(NOTE: I MAY BE WRONG WITH MY GRAMMAR. HUKORS? DI NAMAN TO GRADED .. ;))
**I’m also not claiming that I’m pretty . yun lang . bow ;)